Ohh, coffee.. [Danni] {closed}

[engel]

Bill sat in complete shock as Danni admitted to being afraid of him. He didn't understand why, but the next thing he heard made him understand. He felt a surge of anger through him as he wondered how anyone could do such a thing to any other person. The anger inside him quickly morphed into sympathy for the boy. Reaching over, Bill wrapped his arms around Danni, hugging him tightly.

“I’m not like that, I would never do anything like that to you,” Bill whispered, “I understand that it must be hard. But I like you, so I can wait until you’re ready for.. whatever this is. It’s all on you.”

[nekosan]

There is a thin line between, what is good and what is evil,
I would tiptoe down that line, but I would feel unstable.
My life is a circus, and I am tripping down the tightrope,
Well, there is nothing to save me now,
I’m falling to the ground. Falling to the ground. Down to the ground


^{Danni just sat there numbly, letting Bill hug him. He just stared out over the ocean, not feeling anything at all. ‘I told Bill…before mum. No one else knows anything about me…Who am I to everyone else? I don’t think I’m who they think I am…’ he thought, closing his eyes wearily and leaning into Bill.
“I don’t need sympathy…I just need someone to prove me wrong,” he said quietly, turning his head to smile softly at Bill. “I should have known better…Everyone else knew about Ash…” he muttered to himself, almost like he was blaming himself for what happened, like he blamed himself for the internet girl incident, and the abuse from his mum’s boyfriend. The only thing he couldn’t blame himself for was his father’s death, and now he wondered what it’d be like if his dad hadn’t died. He sighed and let go of his legs, wriggling out of Bill’s grip and checking the ground behind him before lying down. He put a hand behind his head, and one on his stomach, staring at the stars that had begun to cluster in the darkening twilight sky. It was really late, they should get back, but somehow Danni hoped that he could get something out of Bill, or he could tell Bill more about himself. It was like their hearts were locked up here, and they could only speak of them when they were under the sky, high above the street.}


I speak of madness, my heart and soul
I cry for people who ain’t got control
Let’s take our sanity, let’s take a passion,
Let’s take responsibility for ev-ery action.

[engel]

Bill shook his head, “Don’t blame yourself. There’s no way you could have known what he would do.”

He felt Danni wriggle out of his grip and watched him lie down. He wasn’t quite sure what to say, he had a feeling there was more to it. He wanted to know everything there was to know about the boy next to him. Bill wanted to show him that he could trust him, but had no idea of how to go about it.

He turned hi head slightly to study Danni’s face, and he let the words slip, “Do you want to talk about it?”

[nekosan]

There is a thin line between, what is good and what is evil,
I would tiptoe down that line, but I would feel unstable.
My life is a circus, and I am tripping down the tightrope,
Well, there is nothing to save me now,
I’m falling to the ground. Falling to the ground. Down to the ground


^{He shrugged, not sure what to say.
“Dunno…Not much to say about Ash…” he bit his lip. Before the internet girl incident (oh…what was her name again?) he hadn’t really liked boys. He’d always sort of…checked anyone out really, but he never thought he’d feel for them. When the girl had died he stopped even breathing in a girl’s direction, leaving him open for attack from Ash. He wondered how he could word it, but then decided against it. It was Bill’s turn.
“What was life like for you before you came here?” he asked quietly, tearing his eyes away from the beautiful star-scape to study Bill’s face.}


I speak of madness, my heart and soul
I cry for people who ain’t got control
Let’s take our sanity, let’s take a passion,
Let’s take responsibility for ev-ery action.

[engel]

Bill sat in silence as he waited for Danni to reply. He could tell by the tone of the boys voice that there wasn’t much for him to say, so he just nodded, not wanting to push the subject.

He heard Danni ask him about his life and shrugged. His life wasn’t overly exciting. He’d lived in a small city and so because of that, everyone knew everyone else. He and his brother had been considered the “freaks” of the town and had been teased mercilessly at school. It had got to the point where he’d hated just about everyone. At one point he’d been against his brother as well, because Tom had, for a while, tried to disassociate himself from Bill.

As for his love life, he’d only ever been in, what he thought was love, once and it hadn’t ended well. They’d been best friends for years and when they started dating, he’d never been so happy. They’d been together for 2 years, he’d given her everything. When he found out she’d been cheating, he’d been devastated. If it hadn’t been for Tom, he didn’t know what he’d have done.

“My life was alright…” Bill trailed off, not sure as to whether or not he should go into detail, “Got made fun of at school a bit, but.. kids are like that. If you're an individual, look out.”

[nekosan]

There is a thin line between, what is good and what is evil,
I would tiptoe down that line, but I would feel unstable.
My life is a circus, and I am tripping down the tightrope,
Well, there is nothing to save me now,
I’m falling to the ground. Falling to the ground. Down to the ground


^{He nodded, understanding what Bill meant. The same had happened to him at his old school. People hated him because he was different. Especially her…He sighed sadly; this conversation was going to keep going back to it.
“Yeah…It happened to me too. I’m sort of glad I came here; where I don’t know anyone…I can start a fresh. I didn’t exactly help myself when it came to friends back home,” he grinned meekly, remembering how much of a jerk he was with everyone. No wonder they kept away from him like he was poisonous. Wearing his ‘back off’ shirt helped that too. Even when the teachers chose places for the students to sit in they put Danni on his own for fear of the safety of anyone unfortunate enough to be stuck with him. His defensive aura had been left behind in England though he still lashed out at people he took a dislike to. It was just the way he got by.
“I guess you left loads of friends though?” he asked. ‘I didn’t...’ he thought bitterly. He never had any friends, except the internet girl.}


I speak of madness, my heart and soul
I cry for people who ain’t got control
Let’s take our sanity, let’s take a passion,
Let’s take responsibility for ev-ery action.

[engel]

“I’m glad I came here too. Sometimes.” Bill had never been a mean or aggressive child, it was just the fact that he was… weird. That's why kids had never liked him. He had a very odd style, had gotten pierced at a young age, and had the freedom to just about anything he wanted. There was also the fact that many people found his relationship with his brother to be unconventional.

When he had to choose between staying in Germany and coming to America, the only thing that made it hard for him was the fact that he loved Germany. He didn’t necessarily care about losing the few friends he had. He knew, or hoped, he could just make new ones.

“No. I only had my brother and one other friend. Andreas. I do miss him though, so much. He was.. the only one that didn’t care.” Bill felt his breath catch in his throat, it killed him to think about Andi, “When he came to Magdeburg, he could have been friends with anyone, but he chose to hang out with me. And I’d warned him, you know, that he’d basically be shunned but he it didn’t bother him...” Bill took a deep breath, trying to keep his emotions in check. It had been almost 2 weeks since he’d spoke to Andreas and he was starting to think that maybe, he was avoiding him.

[nekosan]

There is a thin line between, what is good and what is evil,
I would tiptoe down that line, but I would feel unstable.
My life is a circus, and I am tripping down the tightrope,
Well, there is nothing to save me now,
I’m falling to the ground. Falling to the ground. Down to the ground


<sup>Danni glanced at him nervously; he seemed to be fighting back some deep emotion. Unthinkingly, his hand strayed from his stomach to rest gently on top of Bill’s. He blushed when he thought about it properly, and his arm tensed up as if he meant to snatch it away, but eventually he relaxed again.
“I didn’t have anyone to leave behind. Only Ash and I was glad for that. There was one person but…” he trailed off. But what? ‘She died.’

They say that sometimes grief can sink in at the strangest of times, the happiest days or the most unrelated moment. This was one such scenario. Danni had never actually admitted the fact she was dead, and suddenly it dawned on him.
“She killed herself…” he whispered in disbelief. As if the email and the article in the paper wasn’t enough to prove it to him. The news story, the massive commotion everyone made at school about it. Danni didn’t go to the funeral; he knew it wouldn’t be his place amongst her friends - his bullies. He’d never really said goodbye. The second after he showed her his picture she logged off, and he never heard from her again. When he went into school the next day, one girl came in crying, and told everyone that the class bully (Danni still couldn’t remember her name) had been found dead, hung from the top bunk of her bed. It was only when Danni had returned home and checked his emails that he realised the two were the same. He’d cried that night and cut open his scars for the first time in two years. But through all of it, he never went to her grave, never said goodbye. He bit his lip; tears didn’t come, because he’d already cried them. He just felt numb, unable to feel anything but a hollow realisation.</sup>


I speak of madness, my heart and soul
I cry for people who ain’t got control
Let’s take our sanity, let’s take a passion,
Let’s take responsibility for ev-ery action.

[engel]

Bill looked at Danni and smiled weakly, quickly looking back to the ground. He shifted his hand and laced their fingers together. He listened in silence as the boy spoke, thinking about how hard it must have been to have no one. As soon as the words were out, Bill looked at Danni with wide eyes. All that he’d learned about him showed that he didn’t have it easy. Bill couldn’t imagine losing a friend like that.

“My god, that must have been awful!” Bill shook his head and offered Danni a sad smile, once again he wasn’t sure how to respond, “I’m sorry.. I don’t even know what to say.”

[nekosan]

There is a thin line between, what is good and what is evil,
I would tiptoe down that line, but I would feel unstable.
My life is a circus, and I am tripping down the tightrope,
Well, there is nothing to save me now,
I’m falling to the ground. Falling to the ground. Down to the ground


^{He shook his head, his lips moved but nothing came out. Sitting up, he shuffled closer to Bill so their sides touched, and he rested his head on his shoulder.
“I’ve never really … acknowledged it...It’s okay, you can’t do anything about it I guess…” he trailed off, and gazed at Bill wistfully. He could sit here and cuddle Bill all night, kiss him till dawn came and they could watch the sun rise. Talk till the cows came home…He’d never had anyone to talk to about his problems, it felt good.
“I’m glad I found you,” he said, fixing it firmly in his mind. He needed Bill more than Bill probably realised. He couldn’t go through having no one for much longer.}


[sorry if he seems a bit whiny and mary-sue-ish tonight Dx. I'm in a bad mood -takes out anger on Danni-]

I speak of madness, my heart and soul
I cry for people who ain’t got control
Let’s take our sanity, let’s take a passion,
Let’s take responsibility for ev-ery action.

[engel]

Bill amiled as Danni moved next to him. He thought about what had been said... If Danni had never acknowledged what had happened, they must have been close. Slipping his arm around the boy’s waist, he turned his head in his direction and placed a soft kiss on his lips before pulling away. "Me too."

ooc: haha, it’s fine XD

[nekosan]

There is a thin line between, what is good and what is evil,
I would tiptoe down that line, but I would feel unstable.
My life is a circus, and I am tripping down the tightrope,
Well, there is nothing to save me now,
I’m falling to the ground. Falling to the ground. Down to the ground


^{Danni shivered as Bill slipped his arm round his waist, and smiled faintly, closing his eyes for a moment. When he opened them again, Bill was leaning forwards to kiss him, and Danni parted his lips expectantly, leaning back towards Bill as he pulled away, and feeling like whimpering in disappointment. He didn’t of course, and just nuzzled his head into Bill’s chest, grinning stupidly. He knew he’d only known Bill all of a few hours, but what he next said just couldn’t be helped.
“Mmm...Love you,” his voice was alarmingly female sounding for just a few moments, and he screwed his eyes up, trying not to giggle. He had sounded so stupid, just like a girl. He wiggled, and wrapped his arms round Bill’s waist, squeezing him slightly.}


[Danni...you couldn't get closer if you tried XD]

I speak of madness, my heart and soul
I cry for people who ain’t got control
Let’s take our sanity, let’s take a passion,
Let’s take responsibility for ev-ery action.

[engel]

Bill chuckled as Danni leaned into his chest. It felt nice to be close to someone, it was something he hadn’t felt for a long time. Bill looked up at the dark sky, it was a beautiful night and he couldn’t imagine being anywhere else. He racked his brain, trying to think of something to say, when he heard Danni speak. He was caught completely off guard by the words that had come out of the boy’s mouth. He hadn’t expected it, especially so soon. He sat completely still as Danni squeezed his waist.

Bill bit his lip as he thought. He definitely cared about the boy, that was obvious, but he wasn’t one to just throw the ‘L’ word around. He’d only ever said it to 2 people, other than his family of course, and both had not ended so well. He opened his mouth in an attempt to speak but the words refused to come out. He knew he couldn’t say it just yet, so he settled on a nod.

[nekosan]

There is a thin line between, what is good and what is evil,
I would tiptoe down that line, but I would feel unstable.
My life is a circus, and I am tripping down the tightrope,
Well, there is nothing to save me now,
I’m falling to the ground. Falling to the ground. Down to the ground


^{He frowned, suddenly realising how stupid it was to say that.
“I’m sorry…” he muttered, about to say ‘I didn’t mean it’ but that would be an even stupider thing to say. He bit his tongue, and glanced at Bill. He wasn’t sure if he was allowed to make a move on Bill, and thought about it long and hard. Eventually he made up his mind, and shifted his weight to reach up to kiss Bill’s cheek softly, feeling his lip ring twist to the side uncomfortably as it made contact with Bill’s face. He settled down again, and tugged at the hem of his shirt, which was coming away.}


I speak of madness, my heart and soul
I cry for people who ain’t got control
Let’s take our sanity, let’s take a passion,
Let’s take responsibility for ev-ery action.

[engel]

Bill felt Danni’s lip ring on his cheek and looked over at him, giving him a small smile. He wrapped his arms around the boy in a tight hug. "Don't be sorry," he whispered, “I want you to know I do care about you, I just can’t say.. that... yet. It always messes things up when I do.”

Bill let his arm rest back around Danni’s waist and looked away. The first time he said the ‘L’ word, it was to Isabell. Ten days later he’d found out about her cheating. He realized at that point that, maybe, he hadn’t really felt that way about her. She was just someone he could cling to, although that didn’t mean he hadn’t been crushed. After that, he’d been an emotional wreck and had done some things with someone that no one would have ever expected. He’d let the word slip out to this person as well, during a very intimate experience, but within a month he’d moved to America. He’d felt awful about it because he knew he’d meant it the second time, but there was no way it would have worked between the two. Bill let out a loud, quivering sigh as he closed his eyes, not wanting to think about any of it anymore.