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Post by Hart Kennedy on Apr 6, 2008 8:09:58 GMT -5
Panting slightly from running half the way here, Hart stumbled into a bench outside Gap, and clutched his school back to his chest, screwing his eyes shut as if it’d block out the world for good. Sighing heavily, he leaned forwards and rested his forearms on his legs, staring blankly at the ground. Feeling overwhelmed by all these new, confusing emotions, he felt tears welling up in his eyes. Leaning back again, he wiped his face and took deep breaths through his mouth. His throat still felt raw from the puff of Devyn’s cigarette that he’d taken, and all his clothes reeked of weed smoke. Twining his fingers, he waited nervously for Holly, mouthing what he was going to say to her. He had no idea what to tell her, what he needed to tell her, or what ever. He just needed some comforting right now.
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Post by Holly Kennedy on Apr 6, 2008 8:58:17 GMT -5
After Holly had recieved a strange but slightly worrying call from her little brother and it made her even more eager to want to go to the mall because she told him that she would meet him there. She wanted to know what he was so 'freaked out' as he put it, surely it can't be something that bad? She walked from her dorm in her pink and black polka dot dress with her cute black dolly shoes to match, she managed to get down to her car quickly and dove patiently to the mall, she couldn't be bothered to walk like she would have done, she was in a hurry to see Hart and what he wanted to talk about.
She pulled up outside the mall and locked up her car and quickly walked into the main area with the most shops. She spotted Gap where she said she would meet Hart and that's when she saw him curled up on on of the benches just outside the shop. She knew Hart was the shy type sometimes but she never expected him to look like he was just now, he looked like a little scared puppy. She sighed as she walked up to him but with a cautious smile to her face, she didn't know what he wanted to talk about and she hoped that it wasn't somethind entierely bad, she hoped he hadn't killed somebody or anything but that thought made her laugh. She walked up to him and stood in front of him as she pulled his school bag away from him and set it on the floor next to him as she waved in his face.
"Hello, Earth to Hart" she laughed, he seemed a bit lost inside his own world but she knew that feeling all to well. She could get lost inside her own little world sometimes. She finished waving at him and sat down next to him and that's when she caught that awful smell, she knew that smell from a long time ago from Freshman year when some of her friends tried to get her to take it but being Holly she never did and she was glad she did. She looked at him with evident shock and dissapointment in her eyes.
"Have you been smoking weed, Hart?!" she asked a bit too harsh for her own liking. She just never expected something like that from him at all. |
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Post by Hart Kennedy on Apr 6, 2008 9:08:25 GMT -5
He spotted Holly, but didn’t even want to move to wave at her. Clutching his bag closer, he whimpered when Holly pulled it away, and stared up at her with big, moist eyes. He was on the brink of crying, and he bit his lip slightly, scooting up close to Holly when she sat down. He looked at her slightly confused, and then looked angry.
“Is that what it was? Devyn told me it was a cigarette…” he sniffed indignantly, and rubbed his eye again. Winding his arm round Holly’s, he held her arm close like he used to when he was little and frightened.
“I had one puff. It was horrible, I’ll never do it again, I promise,” he whined, feeling about eight years old. Unable to contain it, he let out a chocked sob, and buried his face in Holly’s sleeve.
“I don’t know what to do, Holly. I’m so confused,” he managed to say, before he started crying. There were too many emotions all blocked up inside of him, and he turned away from Holly, hiding his face in his hands.
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Post by Holly Kennedy on Apr 6, 2008 9:52:42 GMT -5
Holly didn't want to mean to Hart, she was just concerned for him and she wanted to know what he was so freaked out about, knowing Hart it was probably the smallest insignificant details, he got upset about things so easily. She couldn't believe though that he was so nieve that he couldn't tell the difference between weed and a cigarette, that made her a little annoyed with him.
"Who the hell is Devyn? she asked annoyed
Although she felt her dissapointment with him fade away a little, she couldn't be mad at her little brother- even if he was a whole shoulder and head taller than her, she was still his big sister. She felt him hug her middle, it reminded her so much of how he used to be when he was younger and had been upset about something, he would never even go to mom or dad about it, he always came to Holly first because she would never judge him.
"What, you mean you actually took some of it?" she asked
"and you better mean you'll never do it again, im surprised at you Oli"
But that's when she heard him sob a little, what was it that he was so upset about? and when he grabbed ahold of her arm and started to cry. She felt a little upset now as she brought her arms up and put them around him and brought him into a hug, the kind of hug that she used to give him when they were little, but when he lifted himself away and tried to hide his face from his crying she felt like crying with him, she hated to see him upset over anything. She reached her hands out and pulled his hands away from his face, she wanted to know what was so upsetting that he had to cry like this over it.
"Confused over what?" she asked concerned in a soft comforting tone |
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Post by Hart Kennedy on Apr 6, 2008 10:08:35 GMT -5
He flinched when she asked who Devyn was, she seemed really angry about something. Wiping his eyes, he tried to stop crying, and he managed to, for now. Shrugging, he looked at the floor and felt his face go red.
“My geography partner. He’s got the same home room as me too. I … Bunked from Maths because I was sick of being stabbed with a compass, and he asked if I wanted to hang out with him so I did…” he trailed off, not wanting to tell the rest of the story quite yet. He was blushing almost scarlet just thinking about it. He was so angry at Devyn for lying to him. The stupid bastard knew that Hart didn’t have a clue about drugs or anything, so why was he taking advantage? Hart shook the feeling of betrayal away, because he knew Devyn had more than made up for that…He nodded pathetically in reply to Holly’s question, and bit his lip, trying to stop himself from crying again. Holly was still holding his hands away from his face, and he sniffed slightly, staring at her unsurely. Shaking his head, he turned his smoky blue eyes towards the ground. He didn’t know what the hell he was supposed to say.
“I…Think…Oh god. I don’t know, Holly,” he whined, hugging her again, burying his face in her shoulder and trying not to squash the rather prominent baby bump.
“Do you promise not to tell anyone?” he asked quietly. He was going to ask her to promise not to judge him, but then he decided Holly would never do that.
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Post by Holly Kennedy on Apr 6, 2008 11:10:48 GMT -5
Holly almost winced as Hart continued to cry, she hated seeing him like this and she knew that there was no problem out there that couldn't be fixed, she knew it must be something he had done to make him like this and she wanted to fix whatever he thought was wrong. She was the big sister and she could always make things better, it's what they're made for!
She shrugged off Hart's explanation about who Devyn was, she really didn't care just now. Not until she met him that is, she would know some sense into him if he thought he would get her little brother into drugs. She looked up to his sweet and innocent face that still had remainders of tears falling down them which was blushing like mad, she thought it was cute how he blushed so easily but she didn't think it so cute this time, what on Earth was wrong?
She hardly could say anything when he was clinging to her again and crying again. What could be so wrong that he was so upset over? She wrapped her arms around him in another comforting big sister hug. She would do anything to make her little brother happy again or at least no this upset about something probably trivial.
She pulled away from him and held him out at arms length and smiled a little as she looked into his pretty smokey blue eyes.
"I promise I won't tell anybody" she smiled
"Now, what has got you so upset like this?" |
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Post by Hart Kennedy on Apr 6, 2008 12:06:39 GMT -5
Locking eyes with Holly again, he bit his lower lip hard, to stop himself from bursting into tears again. He felt a single tear overflow from his eye, and it rolled slowly down the side of his face and dripped off his sharp jaw bone onto his jeans. He let her hug him, and closed his eyes for a moment, thinking hard about what he was going to say to her. He reached up and ran his hands along her forearms as she held him out at arms length, not looking at her.
“I was with Devyn and…Well, I kind of … he sort of … I …” he stammered over his words, his voice hoarse. Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes and tilted his head closer to Holly.
“I think I’m … Gay,” his face turned red again as he remembered kissing Devyn. It wasn’t a passionate kiss, not like one that those stupid jocks and their preppy girlfriends had right where everyone could see them. It was naïve, a chaste brushing of lips. Biting his lip again, he shuffled back, trying to pull away from Holly’s grasp. He couldn’t even begin to think how badly his parents and Aaron were going to take it. He didn’t even want to imagine how Holly must think of him now. Sure, it was fine when her friends were gay - it was easier to turn a blind eye - but your own brother. Shaking his head, he wrapped his arms round himself.
“I don’t understand. All the other boys in my year are drooling over girls and all they can think about is boobs and ‘rockin’ bods’. I kissed Devyn! My first kiss was with a guy! It’s just not right…” he bit his lip and felt his eyes get hot and moist again, salt from his building tears burning them.
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Post by Holly Kennedy on Apr 6, 2008 13:09:23 GMT -5
Holly watched as his face almost recoiled in fright as the tears continued to flow down his cheeks, she had an urge to reach out and wipe them away but she knew that he wouldn't want her acting like their mom use to. She had the urge to just hug him and not let him go until he wasn't so upset, although that wouldn't take very long as everybody loved a Holly hug and she could always make the most upset person just like her, hyper an happy, all the time.
She listened intently as he stammered over his words, she didn't know what he was trying to say and it worried her a little that he just couldn't come out and say it completely. When he told that he thought he was gay she looked a bit confused a first, like she didn't just hear what she thought she heard but then shock was her most evident emotion. She never thought he would be like that, sure he looked a little girly but what boy didn't these days? She just couldn't comprehend what she just heard and she didn't want to believe it for a moment. When he tried to back up his statement about him kissing Devyn, her confused and shocked emotions melted away and she smiled her biggest girly smile and she hugged him again, a super Holly hug, she almost squished the life out of him. She didn't know who Devyn was really but she knew if it made him happy she would be alright with it, eventually. Lots of her friends were gay but she never expected her little brother to come out with the same thing. She knew it would take a while for her to get used to, the fact that her little brother was gay or thought he was but she would get used to it. She would always love him no matter what his choices in life.
"wow Oli" she muttered as she pulled him into another hug
"....just wow"
"I just can't believe it" she smiled as she held him out at arms length again and she laughed a little. She didn't know if it was through nerves or because she was happy that he finally told her. |
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Post by Hart Kennedy on Apr 6, 2008 13:41:01 GMT -5
She looked shocked, and Hart screwed his eyes shut tightly, his face bright red. She was going to be mad, wasn’t she? She was going to yell about how weird it was or something, he just knew it. Holly broke into a grin, and Hart scowled as she pulled him into one of her massive bear hugs she did. Grunting as she practically squashed all the air out of his lungs, he squirmed away, but she pulled him back again.
“Wow? What do you mean ‘wow’?” he pouted, his brow line hardened in irritation.
“You’re not helping at all!” he snapped, and pushed her away, slinging his bag onto his shoulder and storming off. He couldn’t believe it. Here he was in tears over it, and she just thought it was great or something.
Stopping at a magazine store, he glanced around to make sure Holly wasn’t following before pushing his way inside. His face was sour, and people seemed to move away from him as he got closer. He snatched up a comic book, and then cautiously went over to where he saw a magazine called ‘Attitude’. It was a gay magazine for young adults, and Hart had decided he didn’t care if people laughed at him for reading it. He’d had one hidden in his bag not long ago, by some stupid jocks who thought it’d be funny to torment him, but he’d kept it afterwards. Sighing, he picked it down off the shelf and hid it behind the comic book. He hid his face behind his hair as he handed it to the woman at the till, and handed over the exact money hastily before leaving the shop at lightning speed.
Wandering the mall listlessly, he wondered weather it was worth going clothes shopping or not. He didn’t really feel like braving Hot Topic (he had to be in a very good mood for that) but he needed new jeans…In the end, he went into Hollister, and nonchalantly went over to the girl’s jeans, hoping his androgynous appearance would let him go unnoticed. As he browsed the jeans, picking out pairs that he thought would be worth trying on, he mulled over what he’d said to Holly. He felt kind of bad for snapping at her, but then again she was being a bit…He sighed, not sure quite what she was being. He looked at the three pairs of tiny jeans flung over his arm, and frowned. Who was he kidding? He’d never get these on over his crotch. He’d castrate himself if he tried. Putting them back messily, he grudgingly crossed into the men’s section and sulkily looked at men’s jeans, sort of hoping Holly had followed him.
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Post by Holly Kennedy on Apr 6, 2008 15:11:12 GMT -5
Holly couldn't believe what he had told her, although she didn't know if it was good or bad, it really didn't matter to her. She wondered if her had told anybody else but by the way he was acting she didn't think so which made her feel even more special, if she was the first person he had told, she just wanted to hug the life outta him, she knew it must have been hard to say something like that to her.
When he almost shouted that she wasn't helping him by being happy about it she didn't understand, did he not like that he was gay? She felt a bit confused, but when he pushed her away she felt a little hurt. She just wanted to comfort him and be happy for him but here he was shouting at her and pushing her away like he didn't want her there for him anymore. She knew was 'all grown up' now but she still wanted to be there for him and she would always be there for him as much as he wanted her to be. She watched silently as he picked up his school bag and walk off from her, she didn't know what she had done, did she say something wrong?, do something wrong? and it hurt her to know that he didn't like her to be happy about it.
She looked around to see where he was going as he stormed off, she watched him go into one of the magazine stores and he came out a couple of minutes later. She then watched him go into Hollister, a couple of shops down from where she was sitting.
She didn't know if she should go after him or not, get him to talk about it some more so that he didn't have to mull over in his own head. She knew that she probably couldn't even begin to think of how he was feeling but she wanted him to talk about it to stop him from bottling it all up and she knew that the only person he would really talk about it to was her, he had always come to her with his problems and worries and she sorted it out every time, that's what big sisters are for. She sighed in defeat as she decided to go after him, even if it didn't turn out how she wanted it to. She had to go see him, get him to talk aout it and he didn't even have to tell anybody else until he was ready to, although she dreaded what Mom, Dad and Aaron would have to say about it.
She walked into Hollister where she had been the previous couple of weeks with Ryuu, she smiled at the thought, but she saw Hart over the other side of the store looking at the jeans section. She wanted to go talk to him but she didn't know what to say and how to say it, she figured it would come to her when she started to talk to him, she was usually impulsive like that. She walked up to the jeans section casually until she stood beside Hart, she didn't even know if she noticed him he seemed in such a world of his own.
"Oli, you have to talk about this, please?" she asked with a cautious smile as she looked up at him.
"I don't want you to keep it all to yourself, please. Talk to me about it at least" |
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