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Post by storia farro;; on Apr 10, 2008 11:08:25 GMT -5
Hart hadn't been to class in a few days, and Astoria knew that something must be wrong. She hadn't had a chance to ask Holly if he was ill or not, but she supposed he was, because well, he hadn't let her know which was slightly strange. Maybe because he was so sick he had to be in bed all day, so he couldn't reach the phone. It was probably along the lines of that.
She got up form the purple chair at her old wooden desk, and grabbing her dorm keys and her own mobile phone she headed out of the room, deciding she would go and visit her best friend. He must want some company.
The number of Hart's room should be a fact in her mind by now, but she couldn't seem to remember which room was his, her long vacation seemed to affect her memory. Trying her luck at the first door she came across, although she was pretty certain this was his dorm, she knocked twice on the hard surface. "Hart?" She called, "Are you okay, I haven't seen you in three days dude, open up!" She called through the door. |
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Post by Hart Kennedy on Apr 10, 2008 11:40:02 GMT -5
Hart couldn’t believe it was already Thursday evening. He’d not left his dorm since he got back from the mall on Tuesday, and felt a bit stupid. He rolled over onto his back, and stared at the ceiling, still clutching his pillow to his chest. His room mates, Alex and Lyric, weren’t exactly the most sympathetic characters on campus, but they generally left him alone. Picking up his iPod, he flicked through the shuffle boredly, trying to find a song that wouldn’t cause him to burst into tears - he’d been doing too much of that lately.
A knock at the door roused him from his apathetic thoughts, and he sat up, rubbing his eye tiredly. The voice that carried faintly through the walls was no surprise to him, and he sighed dejectedly at the prospect of explaining to Astoria that he’d been sulking in his room, and there was nothing wrong with him - physically - what so ever. He had found he couldn’t face school in his fragile state, where he would be vulnerable to stabbing with compasses, verbal teasing - which now had a frighteningly real edge - and physical bullying. Getting up stiffly, and walking towards the door, he realised that laying on your bed for more than 24 hours for no good reason was bad for you.
He opened the door cautiously, and gave Astoria a pathetic smile. Hart really did feel pathetic. His emotions were in a mess and his hormones were giving him grief, and on top of all that he was trying to figure out how the hell he was going to come out to his parents and brother. It took a few moments for his brain to start functioning enough to greet Astoria.
“Hey, ‘Stori…I…” he trailed off, unable to think of anything to say, “Come in.” Stepping back from the door, he opened it for Astoria to come in. He felt weird, with no make-up round his eyes - Hart used black eye make up in vast quantities - and his hair like a bird’s nest. The clothes he’d worn on Tuesday, including his underwear, were strewn on the floor at the end of his bed, and he was wearing a new pair of unthinkably tight girl’s drainpipes. As usual, he found himself staring at Astoria, his gaze slipping down to her dipping neckline which ended in a juicy look at her cleavage. Hart’s gaze snapped away instantly, but not before a small blush could creep on to his face. She was the only girl he ever looked at like that, and didn’t know why.
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Post by storia farro;; on Apr 10, 2008 11:59:03 GMT -5
Storia wondered what the hell he could have been doing for three days straight if he wasn't ill or anything, she couldn't really think of another reason that would cause Hart to stay in his dorm without leaving it. Perhaps some of the older senior boys had been throwing nicknames at him, like the idiots they were, but it wasn't like Hart to spend so long being upset over them. She hoped he hadn't been hurt or anything. That wouldn't be good, and small as she was she'd try and do something about it.She examined her brightly painted finger nails as she waited for a reply. When the door opened she was bought out of her trailing thoughts, "Hey" She said with a smile looking up at him. He didn't look ill or anything, but he surely looked upset, or seemed depressed or something. She could tell instantly. With his make-up not perfected and his hair not straightened she knew something was up. But he still looked cute to her, as always.
"You're not ill are you?" She asked, sounding genuinely worried as she entered his dark dormitory. Looking around, she noticed various pieces of clothing scattered across the floor, and his room mates were obviously not in, but there areas of the dorm were equally messy. "I would have called" She said, holding up her phone, "No credit" She said, heading over to pick up his messy clothes. "Or is it those Seniors again?" She asked, the sound of disgust in her voice, she didn't understand why they continued to pick on Hart.
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Post by Hart Kennedy on Apr 10, 2008 12:19:47 GMT -5
As she wondered in, he realised how dark the room was and went over to the window, pushing back one curtain and leaving the other pulled across the glass. Light poured in to the room, and Hart squinted against it, turning away and smiling at Astoria again as she expressed her concern. It felt nice that she wasn’t like the other Sophomores, who would move away whenever he got close, or would shove him and hurl unprovoked abuse.
“I guess not,” he shrugged. Maybe he was? He didn’t know if gayness was a condition, but he sure hoped it was, because then it might go away before he got round to having to tell anyone other than his sister.
“Don’t sweat it. My phone’s been off anyway,” he shrugged, swatting her away from picking up his clothes, and scooping them up himself. Astoria really didn’t need to do that, and he felt himself blush at the thought of her picking up his panties. He carried them into the bathroom and dumped them in the wash basket on top of his room mates’ stuff. He’d take the pile to the wash room later.
He went back into the room and flopped down onto his bed, running a hand through his fly away hair.
“I can just about live with them,” he shrugged, remembering his recent encounter with some jocks on the football team who had shoved him in a locker in the changing rooms and gagged him with a sweaty sock. That had been a pretty miserable experience. Remembering it made him feel like he was going to cry again for the millionth time that day, and he ground the heal of his palms into his eyes, feeling the dampness of overflowing tears.
“I’m okay, it’s nothing,” he said quickly, his voice sounded choked as he tried desperately not to cry. He didn’t want to look like a baby in front of Astoria. The whole school treated him like a kindergartener, and he didn’t want to give them any more reason to than they already had. Sniffing tearfully, he looked up and grinned pathetically at Astoria.
“I’m sorry…I actually don’t think I’m okay…but…I’ll live,” he laughed, but his heart wasn’t in it, and he crumpled again, resting his chin in his hands and his elbows on his knees, staring at the ground.
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Post by storia farro;; on Apr 10, 2008 12:48:30 GMT -5
She looked at him, slightly confused, if he wasn’t ill then something must definitely be up, “Well least you’re not dying of the plague” She said, laughing quietly, as he pulled the curtains to let some light into the room. The sun shone throw eagerly, and left a line that split his room directly in half.
Laughing as he shooed her away from his dirty washing, she walked over to the window, resting her back against the small ledge, she watched him chuck the clothes on a ever growing pile of clothes. Her and Avery’s pile never got that high, she thought, smiling to herself.
“Hart, you can’t just let them carry on as they are, its horrible!” She said, remembering the bunch of nasty stuff the older guys had done to him, she never really was much help but she tried. “We should plan revenge” She grinned, skipping over to join him on his bed.
But planning wasn’t a good suggestion at the moment, and Astoria knew something was obviously upsetting the boy next to her, he wasn’t acting the same. “It’s clearly not okay…” She said, as his voice seemed to break mid sentence, feeling sympathetic towards him she waited for him to continue.
“Oh, you can’t ignore it… whatever it is...” Stori exclaimed as he mumbled his last sentence, “Bottling it up will make it worse” She stated, trying to encourage him to tell her what the matter was.
Watching him as he seemed to struggle holding in his emotions Astoria flung her arms around him. “Don’t cry, what’s got you in such a state” She asked, as she pushed her orange hair out of her face with one hand. “I’ll help you sort it out if you want…” She added, hoping she was helping. But judging that she actually had no idea what had made him like this, she didn’t really know how to act.
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Post by Hart Kennedy on Apr 10, 2008 13:51:53 GMT -5
“Oh, Sori! I can’t tell you. You’ll hate me,” he whinged, resorting back to his oh-so common eight year old demeanour, so that he wouldn’t have to deal with it in a grown up way. Hart was prone to this, because it was an easy way out. He felt his cheeks flush as she hugged him, and shook his head.
“It’s nothing, seriously. I’m just getting worked up about nothing,” he mumbled into her hair as he rested his forehead against the top of her head. Astoria was about the same height as Holly, which made him a head taller than both girls. He wound his arms round her waist affectionately and held her tight. It felt good to hug a friend, who he knew wouldn’t judge him even though he pretended that he thought she did. Sighing against her vibrant orange hair, he pondered what to say.
“You know that Devyn kid? The one that sits next to me in Geography?” he started, his voice shaking with holding back his emotions, and apprehension. Taking a deep breath, he carried on.
“Well, anyway, I bunked maths on Tuesday because I was sick of that kid stabbing me with a compass, and I ran into him in the locker rooms. He asked if I wanted to hang and I couldn’t exactly say no…” he broke off, acutely aware that there was no way back now. He could tell her about taking a hit of weed, but Astoria wouldn’t buy that for what was making him so worked up. He clamped his mouth shut, his lips a thin, taught line. He didn’t want to say it. Closing his eyes tightly, he squeezed her a bit, reminding himself that she was there, and that she certainly did not hate him. He was also aware of the fact her breasts were squashed against his chest. The last time he’d hugged ‘Stori like this, she had considerably less cleavage. He was amazed at how fast all the girls were growing at the moment. Not that he particularly noticed those kinds of things.
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Post by storia farro;; on Apr 10, 2008 14:26:00 GMT -5
"Oh come on, like I'd hate you" She laughed as he whined about her reaction. She would never hate Hart, even if he did something really bad, but she knew he wouldn't do anything that resulting being a bad action.
"How can you get worked up over nothing..." She said, his words did not make sense, well not to her anyway. She smiled to herself, she couldn't help but think that hugging her best friend shouldn't feel this comfortable. One day, hopefully her big little crush would disappear.
She twisted, so she was now sitting next to him, but didn't want to move much because she quite liked the position of his arm right now, "Devyn..." She repeated, trying to place the name to a face. Oh yes, she knew who he was. The kid who thought he was superior to mostly everyone else, Astoria really didn't like him, but she couldn't base her opinions on just appearance and reputation.
She nodded in reply, not wanting to declare her dislike for the boy, and let Hart carry on with his explanation.
"You bunked!" She interrupted, a fake shocked impression on her small face, but she grinned soon after, it was just a surprise to hear that was all. She shrugged, still not really understanding what the problem was, so he ran into Devyn, what did that mean. "What did he do to you?" she asked, almost accusingly. |
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Post by Hart Kennedy on Apr 10, 2008 14:51:26 GMT -5
Hart laughed slightly - it wasn’t a proper laugh though - and shook his head.
“You know what I’m like,” he frowned, rolling his eyes. Hart was right, he was always like that. Getting in a state for no reason at all. She’d moved, and he moaned quietly because he couldn’t rest his head on her’s so instead he rested on her shoulder, still holding her close. He wondered what other people would say if they saw them like this. Certainly they’d say they were going out or at least crushing. But Hart couldn’t help but feel guilty. He really didn’t have a crush on Astoria - that’s what he thinks - but he’d hate to disappoint her and push her away. Although he had a niggling conscience that leading her on wasn’t exactly helping her either.
Her joking outburst got a smile out of the dishevelled Hart, and he squeezed her again, letting her know he found that funny even though he didn’t feel like laughing. Her next question caught him off guard, and he let out a squeak of indecision. What the fuck was he supposed to tell her? ‘Oh, he smoked weed and we just talked about our sexuality and I asked him if he liked me, then we kissed. It was nothing.’ Yeah right. Only someone like Ryuu could be that forward about their gayness.
“Uh…well…Um…We went into the guy’s bathrooms so no one would find us and…he started smoking. I didn’t know what it was but I spoke to Holly after and she said it was weed, and I’m so mad at him because he got me to try some. I swear, it was disgusting. I’m never doing that again, for sure…” he trailed off again, loosing his bottle completely. He took a deep breath and opened his mouth to continue, but a quiet, strangled sob escaped, and he pulled away from Astoria, burying his face in his hands.
“And then he … he… Oh god! He kissed me, ‘Stori. I don’t know what to do! My parents are going to be … I don’t even want to think about it,” he babbled, his voice strained from trying to hold back his tears and muffled by his hands. However, his hands weren’t that close to his mouth, and what he said was quite clear. Hart was shaking slightly with the effort of not crying, and the pent up frustration inside him. Every fibre of his being was quivering in confusion and despair. All the bullies had been right…
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Post by storia farro;; on Apr 10, 2008 15:16:15 GMT -5
Astoria's eyebrows raised, "We wouldn't have you any other way" She laughed, as she fidgeted and outstretched her short legs, her bright purple drainpipes did look overly large on her.She smiled faintly at his reaction, but couldn't help wondering what had happened with this Devyn guy. She hoped it wasn't anything that bad, but judging by Hart's recent actions it definitely seemed that way. Whatever it was she totally didn't expect the following.
She listened intently, not sure what she was going to hear, "What.. you actually smoked some..." She said, she hadn't meant for her voice to sound so harsh and surprised. But she didn't think Hart would give in that easily. "He didn't even tell you what it was..." She muttered, more to herself, the dislike for this fellow sophomore was just increasing by the minute. He was sixteen and prepared to throw his life away on drugs and whatnot, well, it wasn't as if she cared much, so she wouldn't interfere. Certainly not.
He pulled away from her, and Astoria looked even more confused, what he'd just told her really wasn't that bad, I mean sure it was not a great idea or anything, but its not like Hart had become addicted. She was too busy thinking that over that she barely heard his next outburst although she was looking in his direction.
She frowned slightly, "I swear you just said he kissed you..." She said, without realising. But then she came back to planet earth. Devyn had kissed Hart, no that wasn't how it was meant to be, it wasn't like that at all. She didn't know how to feel... she wanted to ask if he'd kissed back, if he liked Devyn. Oh God, she felt like a stupid jealous five year old.
Shaking her head, and moving over to wear he'd shuffled on the bed, she put her arm around him. She made herself belive this was nothing, and she was Hart's best friend she couldn't just shout abuse at him right now when he was upset.
"Well your parents don't need to know for a start silly." She said with a small smile, not sure what he meant by that.
She shrugged, forcing herself to be supportive and not just run out of the room to worry about her own feelings, "Look, it doesn't even matter what it meant. You're allowed to feel whatever you feel..." She added, rubbing his shoulder in a comforting manner. "No one will judge you, don't get all upset Hart" She finished, her emerald eyes looking at his forehead rather than his eyes.
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Post by Hart Kennedy on Apr 11, 2008 3:01:15 GMT -5
Hart’s gaze was down turned, and he blushed slightly. The blood that rushed to his cheeks involuntary happened way too often for Hart’s liking, and he hated it, which caused the rosy colour to darken. It was a cycle of embarrassment and irritation. Biting his lip, he rubbed his thumb on Astoria’s hip absentmindedly. He didn’t think much of the small gesture; only that he knew that being with Astoria like this made him feel calmer, happier even. Shrugging, he lifted his head from her shoulder,
“Only one puff…He told me it was a cigarette and … well… yeah, I guess that doesn’t make it better but…He shoved it right in my face. I thought he was trying to call me a coward or something. Oh I really don’t know,” he finished off with a whinge, and rubbed his temples in irritation. He didn’t want to make Devyn out to be the bad guy, he was only trying to share something with Hart, and sure it was something bad but…there was nothing wrong with that, was there? He sighed, staring out the window.
Feeling his blush darken when he heard Astoria’s reply, he just nodded dumbly, closing his eyes and trying to breathe deeply. He was getting too worked up, he needed to calm down. Sighing, he looked back at her.
“We were just talking…and he asked if I had a boyfriend, and that just totally threw me…so I asked if he thought I was gay and it just…yeah…I don’t know. It’s so weird…” he frowned, biting his lip so hard a bit of skin came away in his teeth. Hart had a habit of biting his lips till they bleed, and he bit his tongue slightly to stop himself making it that bad.
Smiling as she put her arm around him, his own arm found its way back round her waist to rest his hand on her hip.
“But ‘Stori…” he whined, “I think they might want to know if their son was gay,” his voice darkened slightly, and he glared at the floor like it was the carpet’s fault, pouting as he did so.
“People have been calling me faggot boy and pillow biter ever since I joined this school! What are they going to be like if I really am gay?” he complained, shuddering at the thought of being bullied worse than he already was. At least Devyn wouldn’t mind if he was…quite the opposite, he guessed. He really liked Devyn, he’d hate himself if he had upset Devyn by running away. He sighed, picking dried on acrylic paint off his nails with his thumb.
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Post by storia farro;; on Apr 14, 2008 12:28:57 GMT -5
Astoria shrugged, she was still surprised that Hart had even tried the cigarette, or whatever the thing actually was, she just never thought he would take the risk, but anyway she wouldn't judge him, everyone makes mistakes so what was the big deal about it. "Even if he called you names or whatever, you didn't have to do what he wanted" She said, but she didn't want to sound like she was annoyed at him, it was just the truth, he shouldn't have to do what someone else wants him to do if he doesn't.
So they did kiss. That wasn't in her imagination as she had hoped, and it actually happened, but she herself couldn't get worked up about it. Maybe things were supposed to turn out like this. And as much as she hated the outcome, she couldn't really do anything about it. Nothing else would occur between them right?
She put her hands together, focusing on her chipped bright purple nails, she really couldn't work out what to say, and a quite "Oh right..." came out of her mouth, but she shook her head and put a small smile on her face.
"...Well do you know if you're... what like gay or not then..." She asked, the question probably sounded stupid, but how could a person be absolutely certain. "I mean, well you don't really have to tell them... unless you're sure" She added, trying to keep disappointment, or so it seemed, out of her voice.
"Seriously, who cares what those idiots think of you, you know you're friends wouldn't treat you different and thats all that matters..." She said, trying to cheer him up a little, but couldn't really find the optimistic side of herself right now. |
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Post by Hart Kennedy on Apr 15, 2008 1:40:02 GMT -5
Hart nodded meekly, twining his fingers together and staring at the floor still.
“I know but…I guess I just wanted to look cool…but I’m not, so I don’t know why I kidded myself otherwise,” he frowned, glancing over at Astoria, and smiling.
“You sound just like Holly does sometimes,” he said, sounding amused, “Trying to be my mom,” rolling his eyes, he took his arm away from her waist. Scooting back, he propped himself up against the wall, grabbing one of his pillows and stuffing it behind his back. He crossed his legs like a small child, and put his head back against the wall, a cool feeling seeping through him from the white plaster wall.
Astoria was quiet for a while, and he wondered what she was thinking. Did she think of him differently now? Did she think he was weird, or did she not want to be his friend anymore? He frowned, just hypothesizing about it made him feel sad. Watching as she stared at her hands, he sighed when she spoke quietly. She shook her head, but he couldn’t see her smile from where he was behind her.
“I don’t really…know,” he murmured in reply, sighing and running a hand through his hair. She sounded a bit like she was hiding some emotion behind her helpfulness, but Hart left it for him trying to pick out things that weren’t there.
“I’m not really sure, but Holly keeps saying I should tell Aaron…” he winced at the thought of telling his brother, and picked at a loose thread on his duvet.
“I’d rather not have more swirlied or get locked in cupboards anymore than I already do,” he replied tersely, his bitterness towards getting bullied all the time showing through.
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