To Be Loved [JARED]

[Ryuu James]

I want domination
I want your submission
I see you’re not resisting
To this temptation

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Twisting his hands together nervously, Ryuu looked at his watch again. Jared should have been at the beach by now. With a nervous twinge of his stomach, he wondered if Jared would actually bother turning up. Ryuu doubted Jared would be particularly excited about meeting him…Cursing Holly under his breath, he stalked over to a small bar right on the edge of the sand, about 100 yards from their chosen meeting place. Hoisting himself up onto a bar stool, he ordered a glass of light beer, and sat facing the beach, sipping at the cool amber liquid thoughtfully.

The glare of the sun made his eyes water slightly, and he rubbed them, sighing heavily as he did so. His whole body felt tense with nerves and anticipation. What the hell was he supposed to say to Jared? He knew they’d been pretty good friends before they’d started going out, but all he could think about was those quiet Friday evenings they spent on the sofa, curled up together and talking about everything. He couldn’t banish the echoes of their passionate relationship for fear he’d tear his heart away at the same time. Downing the last of his beer, he put the glass down heavily and wiped his brow, the hot midday sun causing him to sweat.

I’ve got one confession
A love deprivation
I’ve got a jet black heart
It’s all fucked up and it’s falling apart

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[Jared Miles Platt]

[/i] wanted to see Ryuu again.
As Jared neared their meeting spot, sand kept brushing up into his flip-flops. It had begun to bother him a bit, so he slipped them off his feet and held them in his hand by the thongs. A bare-footed Jared stood alone at their meeting spot. Had Ryuu chickened out like Jared had considered doing? Or was he just going to be later than Jared? Or... was he someplace else? Jared scanned the beach for that one face he knew oh so well. Brown eyes drifted over in the direction of a small bar on the edge of the sand, not too far away. Squinting to block the sun from interfering with his vision, Jared spotted a guy at one of the bar stools that could pass off as Ryuu. Jared grinned, but then remembered that they weren't a couple anymore and frowned. Still, he walked over to the bar faster than he had been walking to the beach. Coming closer to the bar, Jared learned that he was right; the guy was Ryuu after all. Taking a seat on the bar stool next to him, Jared shyly greeted, "Hey. It's too bad that, uh, Holly couldn't come..."

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[Ryuu James]

After ordering another drink, Ryuu scanned the beach, waiting for Jared to show. He sort of felt like he was getting what he deserved, and was about to give up - Christ, Jared had never been a whole thirty minutes late before - when he saw someone painfully familiar walking towards him. Cursing heavily in French, he took a sip of his second beer as Jared sat down on the stool next to him. He turned his head slightly, and smiled weakly at him, but then looked away again. He could feel his stomach literally flipping over at the rush of guilt that heaved up. It almost made him feel sick. Sighing, he crossed his legs over, leaning back against the bar.
“Yeah, I … um, think PJ just got back from somewhere…” he trailed off. This was absolutely pathetic. If they’d met up about a week ago, they’d be all over each other by now. Why, then, had he gone and split them up. Furrowing his brow, he rubbed his face like he had a head ache, before downing the rest of his drink. It made him feel slightly better, a bit light-headed, and he hopped down from the stool.
“Wanna walk?” he asked, shoving his hands in his pockets, and nodding down the promenade. It was a gorgeous day, and Ryuu wished he’d worn shorts now because he was sweltering. The only thing he definitely wasn’t going to do was take his shirt off - as much as he’d love to. So far he hadn’t seen anyone from Watson that he knew, but he was seriously hoping that he would some time soon, so he could ask them to join. However, that was highly unlikely today, as the beach was absolutely heaving with tourists and locals alike. There was hardly room to move from the hundreds of sun-loungers and towels.

[/blockquote]

[Jared Miles Platt]

[/color] Jared answered casually, trying his very best to hold in his feelings. "Which way? Left or right?" he questioned, looking each way down the beach, comparing and contrasting the different amounts of annoying beach-goers.

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[Ryuu James]

Ryuu’s heart felt sore as Jared spoke. His voice seemed so strained, like he was hiding something deeper. A fresh pain that Ryuu shared. He couldn’t help but gaze at Jared wistfully when he wasn’t looking, and bit his lip to stop himself from expressing his misery. He shrugged, and began walking. Naturally, he turned towards Jared, and it was hard to fight against his instinct and take the other young man’s hand as he passed him, but he did not.

Looking down, he measured his steps thoughtfully, wondering upon the reason they separated in the first place. Sighing, he glanced over at Jared, and instantly wished he hadn’t. The ridiculous plan that he had been playing out in his head seemed so tempting, so he decided to just go for it. Stopping abruptly, he reached out and grabbed Jared’s wrist, feeling himself burst with energy as he did so.
“Jared…” he said quietly, breaking the awkward silence. Looking away for a moment, he looked back up at him, and bit his lip nervously.
“Jared I…I’m really sorry. I’ve been totally unreasonable…I’m sorry,” he felt like he was grovelling to Jared and, to be honest, he would get down on his knees and beg. He’d realised over the couple of weeks they’d been apart, that he just couldn’t cope without Jared in his life. It was killing him seeing Jared nearly every day around the school and not being allowed to feel the way he wanted to.
“If you’re mad at me … I understand,” he frowned, his grip on Jared’s hand loosening, but he found it impossible to let go.

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