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Post by engel on Feb 22, 2008 9:38:30 GMT -5
Leaning forward, Bill rested his chin on Ryuu’s shoulder. “If I wasn’t okay with it, I wouldn’t be doing it,” he whispered, turning his head and pressing his lips to this side of Ryuu’s face. Sighing contently, he slumped forward against the older boy.
He closed his eyes as he thought. He knew this situation he was in was either not going to last, or it would end horribly; it always did. Despite the fact that he tried to convince himself he didn’t care, he knew he did. He was falling for Ryuu and fast. He wasn’t used to it and he was scared that he was just being used. And now, after what he’d said earlier, Bill was terrified that the older boy would leave, as Danni had. Taking a deep breath, he sighed again and placed his lips next to Ryuu’s ears, “What is this?” he asked; he could feel himself shaking lightly and willed himself to stop, “I mean.. is it just another.. fling for you?”
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Post by Ryuu James on Feb 22, 2008 11:47:10 GMT -5
A faint smile flickered across his face as Bill leaned into him, slumping over his shoulder with a contented sigh. “Good. Just checking,” he whispered back, wrapping his strong arms round him, holding him tightly. He felt himself blush when he kissed his cheek. How odd…Ryuu had never blushed like that before. Maybe if he was embarrassed, or had just seen someone really hot. But this was really different. He started stroking Bill’s back thoughtfully, remembering everyone back home. Remembering Claire. Was he ever like this with Claire? He remembered kissing her a lot, and sleeping with her nearly every night, but he didn’t really remember stopping and just holding each other. Claire had always been more interested in Irja; they had been best friends since kindergarten, and Ryuu had always been very jealous. Claire would always kiss Irja’s cheek when she greeted him, link arms with him when they walked together and would gaze at him with those beautiful Sapphire eyes. Ryuu had been so jealous, but when Irja fell for a guy, Claire was so upset. Ryuu had taken his chance, and snatched her away from his twin. Four months later, she was pregnant.
Bill speaking snapped him out of his thoughts, and it took him a moment to figure out what he meant. “You…You think I’m just …” Ryuu bit his lip, unsure how to answer. He remembered Oli, only a few days after he’d decided to stick to just Bill. Ryuu felt so bad, he’d actually invited him back to his dorm! He sighed heavily, and moved his hands up to cup his face, staring into Bill’s eyes with concentrated green ones. “That was the plan. But I changed my mind,” he said quietly, scared that Bill would be angry that Ryuu had wanted to just have a fling at one point. He wouldn’t blame him, but he didn’t want that any more at all. He wanted more. “I need you, Bill. No one’s ever let me breath for so long between kisses,” he smirked slightly, but his eyes were still serious and intense. Moving his mouth to speak, he stopped again, and pulled Bill’s face towards his, kissing him tenderly. Rubbing his thumb across his cheek, he gazed into his dark eyes, mesmerized by them. Ryuu had always been attracted to eyes.
[woah long x3]
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Post by engel on Feb 22, 2008 16:19:10 GMT -5
Bill grinned and nuzzled his face into Ryuu's neck as he stroked his back. He hadn't felt so relaxed, or safe, in a long while. If it was up to him, he'd stay right in there all night and he'd be just as happy. When he heard Ryuu start to speak, he moved his face to look at him. He stared with a blank expression as the older boy placed his hands on his face and raised an eyebrow as he waited for him to respond.
When Ryuu said he needed him, Bill's eyes widened. That phrase was certainly something he'd never expected to hear from the older boy. He felt a smile cover his features and he allowed his face to be pulled in for a kiss. He forced himself to pull away and couldn't keep the smile off his face. Ryuu wanted him, and not just for sex. "Does this mean we're.. dating, then?" he asked quietly, feeling his face burn as the blush made it's way up.
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Post by Ryuu James on Feb 22, 2008 16:38:13 GMT -5
Ryuu bit his lip, unable to find anymore words. Or maybe he’d just conveniently lost his voice when the question came. “I…I don’t know,” he frowned, scared senseless by the thought of saying yes and then messing it up. Instead of going into some awkward explanation that would pretty much dig his own grave; he decided to do the sappiest thing he’d ever done. “Look in my eyes You're killing me, killing me All I wanted was you
I tried to be someone else But nothing seemed to change I know now, this is who I really am inside. Finally found myself Fighting for a chance. I know now, this is who I really am,” he sang softly, pulling Bill close and kissing his neck gently, his lips brushing tentatively over his skin. He ran a hand down his neck, and slipped it down his pants, closing his eyes blissfully. There wasn’t really anyone else around, all the films were right in the middle of running, but it wasn’t long before the public eye would be cast scornfully on them. Reluctantly, he disentangled himself from Bill, and stood up, holding out a hand to pull him up. He got out his car keys, and smiled softly. “Want to go to the car? It’s a bit less…public,” he grinned sheepishly at his pathetic use of words. He couldn’t think straight, all he could think of was Bill, and these crazy feelings he got from being with him. [that was...cheesy ]
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Post by engel on Feb 22, 2008 16:59:11 GMT -5
Bill frowned and looked away. He heard Ryuu singing and despite the fact that it was sweet, he couldn't help but feel slightly upset. Ryuu could admit to liking him and supposedly needing him, but couldn't answer a simple question. Bill couldn't help but think that maybe he didn't want to say yes because he still wanted to screw around. Sighing audibly, he crawled off the older boy. He heard the sound of car keys and glanced up to see Ryuu holding a hand out to him. Pouting, he debated with himself before rolling his eyes and getting up and making his way to the car, avoiding Ryuu's outstretched hand.
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Post by Ryuu James on Feb 22, 2008 17:05:26 GMT -5
Ryuu cursed flamboyantly under his breath, following Bill to the car. He unlocked it, and slid in quietly, settling down in his seat and glaring at himself in the rear-view mirror. The car stank of cigarettes and alcohol, but that was what everything Ryuu owned smelt of. He stroked the fluffy pink steering wheel cover pensively, mentally stabbing himself for being such an idiot. “Bill…God I feel like an ass now. I didn’t mean no, okay? I just…I don’t want to hurt you, can’t you understand that?” he frowned slightly, wondering if he was digging himself into a hole. A grave shaped one. “I really, really want to just say ‘yes’, and be done with it but hurting you would just…kill me,” he sighed, still staring at the shocking pink steering wheel.
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Post by engel on Feb 22, 2008 17:18:44 GMT -5
Slipping into the car, Bill narrowed his eyes and glared lightly at Ryuu. He crossed his arms over his chest and continued to pout. Turning to look out the window, he rolled his eyes at Ryuu's words. He felt the anger filling him and it took all he could to keep himself from snapping. He wasn't even sure why he was so angry; Ryuu hadn't really done anything, it was just his overdramatic personality making him over react.
"No. I can't understand," he muttered, turning back to Ryuu and he took a deep breath, "If you don't want to hurt me, don't fuck around."
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Post by Ryuu James on Feb 22, 2008 17:45:09 GMT -5
Sighing deeply, he buried his head in his hands, resting them on the steering wheel. He’d fucked up, big time. Taking deep breaths to calm himself, he sat up again, and watched Bill carefully. “I … Didn’t mean that. I’m worried I won’t be who you want me to be. I’m not a very nice person, Bill. I don’t think you’d like me much if you knew everything I’ve done,” his voice was careful, barely a whisper. He almost wanted to lock the car, in case Bill got out and left. He didn’t know what he’d do if that happened. After everything, would he loose him anyway? Ryuu wanted to just say yes, and let Bill find out on his own, but he didn’t want to draw him in any further. He sighed raggedly, and put the key into the ignition, starting up the car and leaning back. Stone Temple Pilots burst into life on the radio, almost deafening him, and he turned it down to a more reasonable volume.
Forward yesterday Makes me wanna stay What they said was real Makes me wanna steal Livin' under house Guess I'm livin', I'm a mouse All's I gots is time Got no meaning, just a rhyme
Ryuu sighed, leaning back into the chair, listening to the music. Concentrating hard on the lyrics, he tried to block out his thoughts as best he could.
Take time with a wounded hand 'Cause it likes to heal Take time with a wounded hand 'Cause I like to steal Take time with a wounded hand 'Cause it likes to heal, I like to steal
Biting his lip, he glanced at Bill. He hated this song. He used to listen to it as a child when he was feeling down, and it just made him feel worse. Then he would go out with his friends and film them stabbing someone. It was always his idea, but he never joined in. He just filmed them on his camera phone.
I'm half the man I used to me This I feel as the dawn It fades to gray Well, I'm half the man I used to be This I feel as the dawn It fades to gray Well, I'm half the man I used to me This I feel as the dawn It fades to gray Well, I'm half the man I used to be, half the man I used to be
He buried his head in his hands again, feeling like the most idiotic man to live.
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Post by engel on Feb 22, 2008 18:19:49 GMT -5
Closing his eyes, he rubbed his forehead quickly. From what Ryuu was saying, it sounded as though he was trying to make Bill want nothing to do with him. Maybe it would be best if he just left and forgot about it, giving up while he was ahead. Sighing, he glanced at Ryuu, a frown covering his face. "You're worried you won't be who I want you to be?" he laughed, more out of disbelief than anything, "I wouldn't be here....." he trailed off as he tried to think of how to word his thoughts.
Jumping lightly in his seat, he glared at the radio and was glad when the volume was turned down. He turned back to stare out the window and began picking at his nails. "When I like someone, I like them for who they are - not who they could be," he whispered, so quiet it was barely audible, "And I try not to think too much about the past. I'm sure I could get over whatever it was you did." He sighed, sarcasm dripping off the last part of his statement.
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Post by Ryuu James on Feb 23, 2008 2:54:48 GMT -5
Ryuu sighed, leaning back in his chair and tapping the arm rest thoughtfully. Sadly, Ryuu had never been one for expressing his emotions. What could he possibly say though? ‘You want to go out with a guy who the police are looking for, for knife crime?’ He clenched his fist round an invisible knife, wishing very much to slit his wrists right now. Everything was catching up on him, after two years of screwing around, getting drunk and basically wasting his life trying to keep everything out of his head, he had miserably failed. “I’m sorry I can’t just … I dunno. It’s been two, maybe three years since I’ve had to think about anything serious,” he bit his lip, really wanting to kiss him again, but Bill looked to be in no mood for that. He picked at his steering wheel cover instead, and ejected the CD in his car. Stone Temple Pilots weren’t very good for cheering you up. “I haven’t thought about the past for a long, long time. I guess I should have known it’d come and bite me in the ass eventually,” he tried to smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes.
[BJKAB! Ryuu's shit at emotions Dx -stabs him- CHEER UP ;__;]
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Post by engel on Feb 23, 2008 9:04:42 GMT -5
Bill continued to pick at his nails and as he stared out the window he had to wonder if maybe he should just leave it. He knew he liked Ryuu - a lot - and figured that if he wanted to be with him, it would be best to just drop the subject and pretend he'd gotten the answer he wanted. As long as he kept in mind that there was a possibility of Ryuu screwing around with someone else, then maybe it wouldn't be so hard on him if - or when - it happened. "Whatever. Just forget about it," he shrugged.
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Post by Ryuu James on Feb 23, 2008 9:08:39 GMT -5
Ryuu rolled his eyes, and put the car into drive, slamming the hand break when it jammed and cussing irritably. “Wanna go anywhere? Or back to school?” he asked carefully, still resisting kissing him. Rolling the car out the parking space, he drove it to the exit at the proper speed limit, which was slower than a snail’s pace, and stopped and waited for a big gap in the traffic before pulling out. The silence was killing him, so he hummed a tune, if only to stop himself saying anything stupid.
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Post by engel on Feb 23, 2008 9:29:24 GMT -5
Shrugging, Bill sighed. He didn't really care where they went, it wasn't about to change anything for him. "I don't care," he mumbled as he watched Ryuu exit the theater parking lot.
ooc: sorry for the shortness =(
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Post by Ryuu James on Feb 23, 2008 9:36:15 GMT -5
Driving in silence, he glanced at Bill occasionally, when they were on a particularly straight stretch. Sighing, he reached out with one hand to take Bill’s, rubbing his thumb over his hand. “Are you sulking with me now?” he asked, looking over at him for a brief moment before his attention snapped back to the road watchfully. He stopped at an intersection, and looked carefully at the road signs. Grinning, he turned towards the skate park.
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Post by engel on Feb 23, 2008 9:55:58 GMT -5
As they drove, Bill looked down at his nails only to realize that because of his picking, they needed to be redone. He shivered lightly when he felt Ryuu grab his hand, and glanced up to see him staring ahead before looking back out the window. He shifted his hand to twine their fingers together.
"I guess so," he muttered, looking at the road signs. He saw that they were headed toward the skate park and raised an eyebrow at Ryuu. "The skate park?" he asked, glancing out the window.
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